Forgiveness and Consequences

by CWK

Last week, while at prayer, I suddenly discovered - or felt as if I did - that I had forgiven someone I had been trying to forgive for over thirty years. Trying, and praying that I might. ... No evil habit is so ingrained nor so long prayed against (as it seemed) in vain, that it cannot, even in dry old age, be whisked away.
 – C.S. Lewis

Introduction

Does forgiveness wipe away consequences? What is the relationship between forgiveness and consequences? 

Below is an email exchange with a wise pastor friend. My original email is in lower case, and his response is in upper case. Then, in blue, I have included my final reflections -- also originally sent to him as an email.

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My Original Email

I have been musing on a difficult topic for the last few months, and have
seen lots of situations in ministry where this needs to be clarified. The
question is this: how do we differentiate between forgiveness and
consequences... or should we? For example, if an Elder sins then the
congregation might certainly forgive him, but a consequence of his sin may
be that he loses his office.

There are some instances where forgiveness and consequences seem to overlap.
If a woman cheats on her husband, he has a Biblical right to seek divorce.
However, if he 'forgave' her completely, then part of this forgiveness would
seem to include reconciling the marriage.

Then, there are some Biblical examples where someone is forgiven, but there
are certain consequences they have to live with. David's adultery and then
murder did not mean that he never was forgiven: "Blessed is the man whose
transgressions are not held against him... (Psalm 32)." Nathan told him
plainly that his sin 'was put away (2 Samuel 12).' However, the 'sword never
departed from his house.' This seems to be an example where the sins were
forgiven, but at the same time the consequences (discipline? punishment?)
were still in effect.

I have always been told in evangelical circles that forgiveness meant the
abrogation of consequences. Clearly this is not valid, as the example of
David shows. However, some of the consequences of our sins are certainly
annulled, aren't they?

Here is my question: is it possible to completely untangle forgiveness and
consequences, and to say that they are two separate spheres entirely? Or, is
there a place of mysterious overlap?

Here is the main thing I am struggling with: forgiveness (our sins being
forgotten, atoned for, washed) seems to imply in its very definition the
removal of consequences. If an act sin is completely forgotten, then how can
it continue to have bearing on the present?

I hope these ramblings makes some sense... I know you might be busy at
present, and if so, feel no need to respond. But, if you get a chance, I'd
love to hear your thoughts.

A WISE PASTOR ANSWERS

There are some instances where forgiveness and consequences seem to overlap. If a woman cheats on her husband, he has a Biblical right to seek divorce. However, if he ‘forgave’ her completely, then part of this forgiveness would seem to include reconciling the marriage.
YES. AND THE CONSEQUENCE MIGHT BE HER ANGER, DISTANCE, COOLNESS, GRIEF AND LOSS OF TRUST IN HIM AND THE TIME NEEDED TO EARN TRUST AGAIN. IDEALLY THEIR MARRIAGE COULD BE RECONCILED AND GROW TO NEW LEVELS OF TRUST AND INTIMACY.

Then, there are some Biblical examples where someone is forgiven, but there are certain consequences they have to live with. David’s adultery and then murder did not mean that he never was forgiven: “Blessed is the man whose transgressions are not held against him... (Psalm 32).” Nathan told him plainly that his sin ‘was put away (2 Samuel 12).’ However, the ‘sword never departed from his house.’ This seems to be an example where the sins were forgiven, but at the same time the consequences (discipline? punishment?) were still in effect.
YES AGAIN! I THINK GOD USES CONSEQUENCES TO DISCIPLINE US AND TEACH US NEW THINGS.
IF A MAN BEATS HIS WIFE OR CHILD AND SHE/HE SUFFERS PERMANENT INJURY AND LATER FORGIVES HIM THEY STILL LIVE WITH THE DISABILITY AND SCARS. THE SAME HAPPENS WITH VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL WOUNDS. THERE WILL HOPEFULLY BE SOME/MUCH HEALING OF THE LATTER OVER TIME BUT COMPLETE HEALING MAY ONLY COME IN GLORY.

I have always been told in evangelical circles that forgiveness meant the abrogation of consequences. Clearly this is not valid, as the example of David shows. However, some of the consequences of our sins are certainly annulled, aren’t they?

YES. GOD’S FORGIVENESS OF OUR SINS MEANS THAT HE TURNS AWAY FROM JUDGEMENT AND OFFERS US GRACE AS HE DID SO OFTEN WITH THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL. BUT GOD DOES NOT USUALLY UNDO PHYSICAL OR EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. HEALING OF THAT TAKES TIME. I MAY BE FORGIVEN BUT STILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE REGRET AND REMORSE THAT I RUINED A GOOD MARRIAGE OR HARMED A CHILD. THAT IS WHERE SHAME COMES IN. GUILT IS HEALED BY FORGIVENESS, SHAME BY ACCEPTANCE AND GRACE. THE LATTER OFTEN TAKES LONGER. SATAN LOVES TO BEAT US WITH SHAME!

Here is my question: is it possible to completely untangle forgiveness and consequences, and to say that they are two separate spheres entirely? Or, is there a place of mysterious overlap? YOU PUT IT WELL. THEY ARE PARTLY TWO SPHERES BUT THERE IS AN AREA OF CLEAR, AND IN SOME PLACES, MYSTERIOUS, OVERLAP.

Here is the main thing I am struggling with: forgiveness (our sins being forgotten, atoned for, washed) seems to imply in its very definition the removal of consequences. If an act sin is completely forgotten, then how can it continue to have bearing on the present?

I HOPE WHAT I HAVE SAID ABOVE ANSWERS THIS QUESTION. 


CONCLUDING REFLECTIONS

I now see, as I had not before, that sin involves consequences not only for the offender, but for the offended: whether the Church or the individual. One consequence: for the offended,it is necessary to battle against the temptation to bitterness/veangefulness. This battle must be fought by faith in the work of Christ over a period of time; forgiveness is a choice. It is a dreadful thing to sin; also, a dreadful thing to be sinned against.

One of the biggest problems in congregations: They have bitterness toward (fill in the blank) sitting across from them every Sunday. There are feelings of animosity between some church members for things that have piled up over the years, and never been dealt with. 

Forgiveness is not child’s play.