Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Adam After The Fall

by CWK

Thou art the man!
The whole world was yours, and more
would have been
freely given.
Look! Look at what you have done.
Look at the ruins lying in lies.
You are the one, my son,
who lost paradise.
You are the one, my son,
who lost paradise.

Wearied and dreary in failing my test,
my eyes now open – I see, but much less.
I see, but dimly, in blindness.
I see me: guilty, filthy, undressed.
I see creation, grieved, groaning, distressed.

Now, fallen, here I stand,
or rather, here I stagger.
I am the man.
I am the king
who fell off his throne.
No one’s to blame, but me,
and me, and me, alone.
At first, I blamed Eve.
For a time, I loaned
my distress to my lies.
But, the true truth is this:
I am the man:
the man who lost paradise.

I aspired to a god, cool and separate --
from all mortal concern distant;
strident, exalted in masterful repose --
only upon my mind, my will dependent.
And so, betwixt good and evil, I chose.
I expected to rise in a golden train,
and ascend above mere earthly plains
amid an adoring angelic refrain
-- but I fell to the earth
like a tiny drop of rain.
I fell from a world of rest
to a world of pain.
Cursed, cast out, and exposed,
I now lie fallen, and stained:
not a god, not even close --
less a god, less a man; less what I was, I am.

I am the man.
I see me: undressed.
— see paradise forsaken, and lost.
— see my hand dealt, and there’s death
in the cards; death in each breath:
death coming fast; death coming oft.
Death just leaving; death on the way,
with Hell to pay.
At last, I reckon the terrible cost
of gambling glory for glory vain.
At last, I bear the crimson cross
of all my innocence slain.

My fall I recall with regret:
so foolishly serpent was met.
My bride, unprotected, was Eve.
I weakly beheld her deceived;
I stood, whilst the snake assailed her
by heavenly words from hell’s cellar.
The temptation, so subtle, so brazen
sweetly rang in our ears, too pliant:
whilst Yahweh –  till then friend –
was slandered in lies as tyrant.
Thus, prompted by evil suggestions,
some darkness bestirred my affections.
And, the decision arose, a question
at first, no more, “Did God really say?”
How dare he! Wherefore? And why?
What, exactly was said, anyway?
To what end? How? What reply?
Really, did God say, – “in the day
you eat, in that day, shall you die.”

I look back, and try to unravel
reasons for treason – but my mind travels
to dead endings. Motives inane
mix like a mist. I see my rebellion, insane,
as if on a map  but the roads all bend
and cross on each other. Valleys descend
to darkness besmirched; reason famished
leads to mirages; mirages examined, soon vanish.
I find, alas, this task vain: like fighting sky.
My rebellion was madness! And madness lies
without sense  sin never reason had.
The mind of the sinner’s the mind of the mad.

When I gaze back, I am sometimes
somber: oppressed by former crimes,
and remiss for the garden we left.
And ever I hear the footsteps of death.
This new world is not brave
as hoped; not free, as planned.
This world is not what I craved
at all; God-forsook led not to divinity
as proffered by Satan in subtle sublimity;
God forsook is God-forsaken;
God deigns to bring slaves to freedom.
Satan frees men only to enslave them.
I know this too well, myself now a slave.
This world needs saved,
that’s all. The fall of all was the fall of man;
when I fell, I held the world in my hand.
I see paradise sacrificed – this I have faced.
Yet, there are signs, at times, signs of grace.
For I have also seen a new creature, akin to me,
yet strange and apposite; a new creature
which heaven hath sent to me:
a creature with succor etched in her features.
She is a creature who gives, when giving.
And amid all this death, she shall surely be,
as promised, the mother of all that is living.

My name is Adam,
and I am the man
who lost paradise.

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